Teachers talk a lot about self-esteem, but do they really understand how it is the cornerstone of health and positive behaviors?

A simple definition of self-esteem is having respect and positive regard for yourself.  Children learn to feel right about themselves from the loving attention of their mothers.  If a child basks in the love of the mother the connection between the orbitorfrontal brain and the body is established.   This connection makes it easier for a child to go within itself to feel what is right and to know how to go after it.  This also establishes a connection for empathy.  Without empathy self-esteem becomes self-centeredness and narcissism.

The first way children experience self-esteem is by feeling confident in their body through physical strength, endurance, and flexibility.   Schools can become the primary place to promote this physical poweress.  Unfortunately schools often tap into competitive sports as the measure of physical fitness.  This template sets up a compete and compare mentality that can contribute to failure and low self-esteem.  There is a wide range of sports abilities among children and a wide variation in the rate of development of these skills.  If every child is expected to conform to the same standard then it’s inevitable that some of them will fail. 

Malcolm Gladwell the author of “Outliners” writes about the phenomenon of relative age.  What he and others found is that the cut-off birth dates for participation in all sports was the predictor of success. 

This effect was first observed in Canadian professional hockey players.  Overwhelmingly most have birthdates in January.  Now this has nothing to do with astrology it simply means that in Canada the cut-off for eligibility to play hockey is January 1.   There is an enormous difference in size and ability between boys born in December and one born January 2. 

What happens is that this skewered age distribution favors certain birthdates.  Larger more coordinated players receive more attention and instruction than smaller less coordinated players.  Becoming proficient in sports is a product of a sort of natural selection because who gets to the top is not just the hardest seed but  the one given the most sunlight. 

This phenomenon is also seen in European professional soccer and in American college players.  Schools are victim of this same birth date cutoff because students are not learning with others of the same age and maturity levels.   This selection favors older students in every aspect of learning but is most obvious in physical fitness. 

If a school’s physical fitness class is structured and limited to playing sports than a large number of students will never experience the power of their own body.  The school’s approach and attitude toward fitness must recognize the connection between the mind and the body. 

The best way to do this is make the school a “fit” environment.  Fitness becomes part of every day, not just during gym class.  Walking, stretching, moving are essential to create flexibility and strength and should be incorporated into all aspects of the school day.  As children work through their day they gain energy and appreciation of their own healthy bodies. 

Yoga, Pilates, aerobics, dance, or movement to music can help all students regardless of natural ability achieve fitness.  And this  is accomplished without competition and without fear of failure. 

Self-esteem is an inside job, but schools are a part of the proving ground to promote it.   If children are comfortable in their own skin developing social skills and self-discipline will be easier.

Physical fitness is the first requisite to happiness; the ability to feel strong and capable in your own body is an essential element for feeling safe and secure in the world.  Of all the lifetime factors that have been studied physical fitness is the  most accurate predictor of longevity and health. 

Many schools embrace some sort of character education in an effort to curtail discipline problems.   The hope is for students to stop and think how they would feel in difficult situations and use that feeling as a gauge for their own behavior.  The question is does it work?

The problem with most programs is they are limited in their desired influence.  The best program cannot change a school’s environment.  The best test of character lies in the attitudes of the teaching staff.  Do they embody the values and principles of empathy, kindness and respect?

This weekend I read an interesting article in the New York Times on teaching character.  It seems school districts across the country are spending enormous sums of money hoping to find a program that is comprehensive but does not crowd out the academic mission of their schools.

This sounded like a contradiction to me because what could be more important than helping to shape the character of every student.  The mission of any school need not be limited to academic achievement in fact it should be to nurture the desire to learn in collaboration and cooperation with each other.  If the mission focuses on the narrow goal of promoting individual achievement than it fosters the type of competing and comparing that often threaten acceptance, tolerance and synergy.  

For thirteen years I supervised a disciple program in a middle school.  The purpose of our program was to provide a quality environment and engage the student in a process of responsible decision-making.  The hope was in this process the student would accept responsibility for their actions and choose a better positive way to solve a problem.  The character component was critical.   It was successful in a limited way because it only engaged students with behavior problems.  It was not proactive because it did not reach the greater number of students who helped shape and influence the environment of the school.  Nor did it work to change the attitudes of the teaching staff.  Despite devoted time and energy there was no paradigm shift in the way we looked at solving problems.  What we needed was a critical examination of how each one of us hoped to embody the principles of character. 

As a staff we were an older version of our middle school population.  There was gossip, there were cliques, there was bullying, there was jealousy, there were petty grievances and wasted energy on small things.   I have no doubt that students were aware of these adult relationships and viewed them as a template for their own behavior. 

The best way to teach character is to show love and kindness.  The environment that has a high regard for individual differences, for forgiveness and acceptance is one that allows everything to flourish.  Think of it in terms of providing rich compost that needs little to protect it during times of stress.  The environment itself is the protection. 

This connected integrated view holds true for every system in the universe.  Our own bodies operate so smoothly that we can forget about them until some failure captures our attention. 

Schools can become the best place to be if the adults insist on nurturing an environment of love of kindness.  It will be apparent to every child that character is not just a buzzword, or an inspirational message, it is a practice built on the right foundation.

Leaving the theatre after watching the movie Slumdog Millionaire I was buoyed with a sense of hopefulness.  It is the story of Jamal an orphan boy forced to fight for survival in the slums of Mumbai India.  He travels the treacherous terrain between doing what’s right and doing what’s easy.   The heart of the story answers the question how does anyone come to know what’s right about life and love.

This journey of coming to know about what’s right is one all of us must travel and like the character of Jamal each one of us must decide what is most important.  The question I must ask is: how are our values determined?

There are powerful emotions and circumstances that will influence where we line up on the character continuum.  Will we use love as our guide or bitterness?  Will we seek to do what’s right over what’s advantageous? 

There is no certainty in answering this question but one thing must not be ignored.  The environment in which we live must reflect respect, love and justice. These principles are like rich compost nourishing our spirit and our values. 

Our children need to see daily examples of character in order for them to develop and embrace it.    Creative World Connections is dedicated to being part of that compost.  Below is a sample of one of our daily messages for your school announcements.  We invite you to share it with your school population and email us if you would like more material to share.   CWC will work with each school and tailor a program to meet your needs.  Subscription can be yearly, monthly or weekly. 

Success Tip/ Doing the Right Thing

In the Harry Potter book series there is a character named Hagrid.  Hagrid is a friendly giant with a soft heart.  He is one of Harry’s teachers who also becomes his friend.

Hagrid tells Harry, “ At some time you must choose between what’s easy and what’s right.”

Hagrid might only be a fictional giant but he understands what’s most important. 

So What’s Easy for you Today?

Not doing your homework is easy.

Spreading gossip is easy.

Watching someone being bullied is easy. 

The hard things in life require commitment.  Working hard, walking away from gossip and standing up to bullies are all hard but they will determine your character.   None of you needs a giant in a storybook to tell you to do the right thing, although it helps.

You all cheer for the hero of a story and hope for the downfall of the villain.  In your own story you can become the hero, so today cheer for yourself when you do what’s right.

And know this – No one can this do hard work but you!

Can success in life be predicted by intelligence measured on IQ tests?

The hereditarian view of intelligence claims that cognitive inequalities are written in our genes as well the social inequalities that arise from them. This view accepts that IQ differences between ethnic groups are a matter of heredity.  The accepted IQ ranking in racial/ethnic groups are – Ashkenazi Jews, East Asians, whites in general and then blacks.   Although this view has been denounced as racism wrapped up in pseudoscience it is still believed.  Unfortunately when a teacher believes this idea even as a generality it limits and cripples the success of their students.

In “Intelligence And How To Get It” Richard Nisbett puts forth evidence that stresses the importance of non-heredity factors in determining IQ.  This “new environmentalism” comes from neuroscience and genetics as well as from studies of educational interventions.

In a nutshell what Nisbett has found is that IQ differences are largely environmental and that extensive early childhood interventions have produced enduring IQ gains.  The challenge is in finding and implementing the right kinds of educational programs.  Nisbett believes that nearly everyone can be propelled above the threshold of an IQ of 115.

The way to gain intelligence is to live in an environment rich in possibilities.  Not only is it critical for parents especially those from poor and disadvantaged homes to have lofty goals for their children but for their teachers to have these same goals as well.  Embracing a possibility even one that seems unachievable is the first step to seeing it happen.

Imagine the story of Joyce Gladwell who grew up in the poor Caribbean island of Jamaica. She was able to go to high school only because her mother Daisy Nation was a dreamer and an idealist.  Daisy Nation’s ambitions made her a force to be reckoned with. These ambitions made it possible for her daughters to go to college.

A rich environment uses what’s available and the very first place is in our language. Language must be fine-tuned and practiced the same way a musician tunes and practices with an instrument.  With language children learn to question, to explore, to be engaged, to be creative, to dream and to aspire.    Children become masters of their language when they are talked to, read to, and questioned.  This is the beginning for enrichment and achievement and it must be woven into the fabric of everyday life.

Every parent and teacher can embrace the culture of possibility.   Embracing this culture is giving a gift to your child, to your student.  And it’s a gift that every child deserves.

Driving to yoga today I heard two news items that disturbed me.  The first was an interview with the president of a Wall Street investment company. He was commenting on the economic mess and particularly AIG.  He said its human nature to steal, to lie and to conceal.  In other words when no one is watching the rules don’t count.  The other story was about the increase in violent gangs in Mexico.  In the town of Juarez on the border drug gangs have taken over.  The gangs became powerful because the young males of this town had no opportunity so they turned to the testosterone fueled violence and brutality of gangs.  Without gangs these young men had no future.

It’s seems whether it’s Wall Street or the dirty streets of a poor Mexican town the rules don’t count.  Both found opportunity and exploited it.  So I have to wonder can we really be good?  Is it our truest nature to seek the honorable path and stick to it despite difficulties?

 Mahatma Gandhi said, “Nonviolence is not a garment to be put off and on at will. Its seat is in the heart and it must be an inseparable part of our being.”

Only the strongest and most disciplined person can hope to achieve the status of Gandhi’s teachings even so without the teaching there is no hope of walking this noble path.    Gandhi’s wisdom reminds us to recognize how connected we all are in this small tenuous world.  Unconditional love and compassion are stronger than ignorance and prejudice, stronger than even hatred.

In order for our children to discover this truth they must first witness it, they must be in an environment that seeks this way of respect and peace.  There is no peaceful oasis in our modern day world so it must be created.  Every classroom teacher can make a commitment to create this place in his or her classroom.  Every school can adopt a mission statement that seeks this more disciplined way. 

In order for children to learn to deal with anger, jealousy, or other negative emotions they must understand the possibility of a nonviolent spirit.  The first place to get a grip on this is to understand simple anger.  There are five steps to mindful anger management. 

The five R’s:

1. Recognizing – Noticing the familiar stimulus that pushes your hot buttons and triggers the harsh response.  By first noticing it means the ego has not yet seized on it and reacted to it.
2. Recollecting – Remember the downside of anger and also the upside of practicing patience.  The mantra is “this too shall pass.”
3. Refraining and Restraining – Hold back your habitual negative reaction and try to see the situation through another person’s eyes.  The most difficult person or situation can become your greatest teacher, your greatest opportunity.
4. Relinquishing – Give up you conditioned reactivity and let go of these impulsive urges and choose a more intelligent response.  Just accept that anger arises and instead of acting on these urges feel them without acting. 
5. Reconditioning and Responding - Let go of these unhealthy patterns and intentionally chose more desirable kind ways to respond. This is most difficult because sometimes it appears you are too passive doing nothing.  But it means you are responding with equanimity, becoming wiser and more compassionate.

This kind of holistic character education is possible but it requires a dedicated effort in order for it to be effective.   To paraphrase Gandhi when you begin to transform yourself you transform the world.

Every teacher can become this vehicle of transformation. 

Creative World Connection daily messages are one way to help you acquire this habit.  Any school interested in becoming a subscriber may contact me by email (see contact tab) and I will tailor a plan for your school population.  

Last night I woke up in the middle of night anxious from a rambling dream about economic woes.  My dream was a tangled mess of reruns from the news that kept repeating over and over like a broken record. I’m certain in bedrooms across the county other people were struggling with the same dream.

Despite feeling dread in the middle of the night I found a renewed optimism in my morning yoga class.  In yoga I was reminded to seek my equanimous mind, the mind that reacts the same to praise or criticism.   It’s the quality of same mind that restores peace and calm to the body and spirit.

I am grateful to have a practice that guides me through troubled waters but I have to wonder how our children are coping with all this uncertainty.  How can they be hopeful and calm?

Children take their cues from the adults that lead them, if their homes are turbulent and troubled they will carry that vibe and energy into their school day.  As teachers you could be faced with leading a classroom filled with anxiety and worry.   So how can you provide a nurturing environment for your students?

First you must take your own emotional temperature.  Access your state of mind every morning. Take ten minutes every day to find some balance.  Open the shades, turn off the noise and sit alone in your classroom.  Close your eyes and begin to breathe in and out through your nose.  As you do this notice the quality of your breath.  Focus on the narrow space between your nose and mouth.   In and out, as thoughts arise let them drift by like clouds in the sky.  Just observe them and let go.  Think of your breath as a bridge that connects your body to your thoughts.  When your thoughts become too scattered use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.

A short meditation helps you face life’s curve balls and also prepares you to guide your students.  You can use this same practice with your students.  Beginning each class with a short meditation is one simple way to help restore calm to your classroom.  Even though the earth is shifting beneath their feet your students can stay centered.

The practice of yoga is simply observing the breath.   Becoming connected to the breath connects us to the present moment instead of living in the never arriving future. 

None of us can predict the future but given the right tools we can find a path to a more peaceful existence.  And we can teach this to our children helping them pass through negative moods feeling more resilient and positive.

Recite this Metta Meditation with your class every day

May I be Happy and Joyful

May I be Peaceful and At Ease

May I be Free from Harm and Injury

May I be Free from Anger and Worry

May I be Well

Despite all the economic difficulties most of us don’t have to go to sleep wondering if we will eat tomorrow or where we will go to get clean water.  Unfortunately for millions of people living in the developing world that is the case.  Whatever our circumstances are by world standards we have all won the lottery of life.  We can hope to see a more prosperous tomorrow

Charitable giving is an American tradition.  Surveys show that 85% of American families make charitable donations each year.   Giving money to charity is part of living an ethical life.   Peter Singer author of “The Life You Can Save” believes that giving to the right charity could end world poverty.   The reason is it takes much less money to help provide clean water, food, agricultural supplies, and basic medical care in the poorest parts of the world.   In his book he cites some examples of how a little bit of money goes a long way.

One story is about a group of women among the lowest caste group in India who pick through the landfills looking for recyclable materials.  Their problem was finding a reliable market.  One of charities promoted through givemore.net gave them enough funds to organize and secure buyers.  Today this group no longer accepts charitable funds.  The good news about supporting the poorest of the poor is the impact is huge.  Workingwomen in India have fewer and healthier children and have the resources to rely on their own best efforts.  This same scenario is repeated in every dirty and forgotten corner of the globe.  When money gets into the right pipeline it changes things.

Teachers can make a sustaining impact on this endeavor by adopting a yearlong charitable cause for their classroom.  Doing this not only teaches your students about culture, geography, and history it also is the beginning for them to be part of a call to positive action.  It empowers your students to make a difference in the world. 

It takes only a little bit of imagination to make this possible.  Students should be encouraged to give.  Create opportunities to give small change.  Students can pay nickels and dimes for extra perks like watching a movie, or having a pizza party.  Throughout the year much can be collected.  Classrooms can aim for a specific dollar amount.  

Teachers can find information from Peter Singer’s book.  The web provides lots of resources like givewell.net. and kiva.org, both allows you to give small amounts of money to lend to a specific entrepreneur in the developing world. Your students will be able to read first hand accounts of helping a real person make strides towards improving their life.

Help your students learn the value of charitable giving and tap into the possibilities in life.

In the famous words of George Bernard Shaw.

“You see things and you say, why?  But I dream things that never were and I say why not?”

Yesterday President Obama called for sweeping changes to American education.  One of the more controversial parts of his plan is to implement performance pay for teachers.  Obama laid down a challenge for teachers and public school systems demanding more accountability. 

The President wants to reward excellence.  It’s been a long time since the word excellence and public education have been spoken in the same sentence.  As predicted Union leaders reacted cautiously to the plan, while they welcome the vision they fear its implementation.  The question is: how will we know that our children are learning more?

Almost every school district in American has a mission statement posted somewhere.  Typically it will say to provide the right environment in which children can learn.  Few schools are bold enough to promise excellence.  Now think about any product seeking your consumer dollars.  All promise and some guarantee the greatest satisfaction and the best results when you buy theirs.  Education needs this type of challenge, the challenge of excellence.  

Einstein said we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking that created them.   The system under which education operates needs a new foundation.  It took a long time for the current system to develop its institutional practices and they are naturally resistant to let it go.  But schools must not cave into the resistors who see failure and difficulty with the new proposals. The resistors fear that if one thing is wrong how many others might also be wrong.  How much of this institutional establishment are we going to pick apart? 

Intellectual honesty must be a part on this discourse on change.  If schools are ever going to make real progress they must admit that some of their current practices are wrong.  Changing our thinking is the only hope for the future. 

It’s easy in our culture to feel not quite good enough.  For some of us it takes a lifetime to come to terms with the flawed notion of perfection and accepting and loving ourselves.  In the book, “Surviving Marcia Brady.” Maureen Mccormick reveals how the character of Marcia Brady became her alter ego and how far down she fell struggling to accept herself. 

Her story is a modern fable that shows that all the glitters is not gold, despite how much it sparkles.  I was past the age of influence when the Brady Bunch was popular on TV but I remember how much my younger sisters wanted to be just like Marcia.  Popular culture in the early 70’s had not yet wormed its way into the youthful psyche the way it has today so I have to wonder who are the modern day Marcia Brady’s and how much dysfunction are they creating now?

For many children the only template they have for a purposeful life is the one marketed to them through the medium of entertainment. Often promoting a life where popularity and being envied are the standards of success. 

Schools are tapped out right now and to ask them to pick up the slack and restore value where it’s lacking is a heavy proposition.  Despite the difficulties I know schools can influence positive change.   And the steps are simple and free. 

Providing character education and guidance is nothing more than practicing it yourself first.  It doesn’t’ even have to be an institutional practice but it would be more effective if the entire teaching staff embraced it.   

One resource I discovered several years ago was “The Four Agreements” by Dan Miguel Ruiz.  This little book is a gem of practical wisdom that can transform anyone willing to be better.  The four agreements are simple rules to help you honor and respect your own life and everyone you encounter.

The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word.  Speak with integrity say only what you mean.  Avoid using your word to speak against yourself or against someone else.  Never gossip.  Instead use the power of your word in the direction of love and truth.

The second agreement is don’t take anything personally.  Recognize that nothing others do is because of you.  What they do and say is a projection of their own reality, and of their own shortcomings.   When you choose not to be offended you become immune to the opinions and actions of other people.  You cannot become the victim of needless suffering.

The third agreement is don’t make assumptions.  Communicate as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.  With this one agreement you can transform your life because you practice communicating clearly frees you from emotional poison.

And the most important agreement is to always do your best.  When you allow yourself to be human you recognize that everyday is different.  Different mind, different body, different moment and under all these changing circumstances you simply do your best.  This attitude helps you avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

I find the last to be the agreement of forgiveness.  Forgiving yourself is the most critical step to accepting your imperfect yet beautiful self.   Embracing the four agreements is breaking with all your old emotional binds and contracts.  It’s liberating because this practice allows you to be better, to become noble in the truest definition of the word.

I have used the agreements as rules to live by and instructed students in their meaning.  Many students found the simplicity of this creed an easy way to practice respect and  helped them let go of unhealthy judgment and negativity.  

John Lennon sang, “Living is easy with your eyes closed misunderstanding all you see.”

These simple agreements help you live with your eyes open.

Doctors recognize there are five stages to recovery. Whether its an unhealthy habit, an addiction or creating better habits the five stages are the same with the same potential for failure or success.

The first is stage is to pre-contemplate.  It means you might have thought about change, but it’s only a thought.  Like thinking you’d like to lose a few pounds.  The second is to contemplate.  You have in mind a possibility or a plan but you’ve not given serious thought about making an important change.   The third stage is action.  You do some research about diets and consider the best one for you. Nothing really happens until the fourth stage where you make a plan, the plan is the beginning of your commitment to being better. The last stage is the relapse.   Doctors know even the most dedicated person will experience a relapse.  The reason is whenever you initiate change even positive changes you activate fear in the emotional brain.   If the fear is great enough your fight or flight response will go off and you will literally run away from what you’re trying to do.   In the human brain change is difficult and uncomfortable. 

Doctors recognize that relapse is not failure; it’s merely the response of our brain circuitry.   Unfortunately many of us will give up when our brain signals this struggle instead of acknowledging this important step in the process to change.

Understanding these limitations can be useful in the classroom.   These same synaptic pathways in the brain can make learning new information or a new skill difficult.  Some children like the addict in recovery will relapse and simply decide they aren’t smart enough or the task is too hard to continue.

Teachers have the perfect opportunity to help their students become more comfortable with these relapses by creating a comfort zone for learning.   Every student in your class should be confident enough to accept their mistakes and struggles.  This confidence needs to come from you – the classroom teacher. 

Every time you present a new concept or idea preface it with the information that learning is hard work and every person has different abilities.  By doing this you give students the space they need when they relapse.   Students can also work cooperatively in small groups so that those who grasp ideas quicker can teach and work with the slower learners.   Your classroom can become a place of opportunity instead of failure.