Category: character education

Many schools embrace some sort of character education in an effort to curtail discipline problems.   The hope is for students to stop and think how they would feel in difficult situations and use that feeling as a gauge for their own behavior.  The question is does it work?

The problem with most programs is they are limited in their desired influence.  The best program cannot change a school’s environment.  The best test of character lies in the attitudes of the teaching staff.  Do they embody the values and principles of empathy, kindness and respect?

This weekend I read an interesting article in the New York Times on teaching character.  It seems school districts across the country are spending enormous sums of money hoping to find a program that is comprehensive but does not crowd out the academic mission of their schools.

This sounded like a contradiction to me because what could be more important than helping to shape the character of every student.  The mission of any school need not be limited to academic achievement in fact it should be to nurture the desire to learn in collaboration and cooperation with each other.  If the mission focuses on the narrow goal of promoting individual achievement than it fosters the type of competing and comparing that often threaten acceptance, tolerance and synergy.  

For thirteen years I supervised a disciple program in a middle school.  The purpose of our program was to provide a quality environment and engage the student in a process of responsible decision-making.  The hope was in this process the student would accept responsibility for their actions and choose a better positive way to solve a problem.  The character component was critical.   It was successful in a limited way because it only engaged students with behavior problems.  It was not proactive because it did not reach the greater number of students who helped shape and influence the environment of the school.  Nor did it work to change the attitudes of the teaching staff.  Despite devoted time and energy there was no paradigm shift in the way we looked at solving problems.  What we needed was a critical examination of how each one of us hoped to embody the principles of character. 

As a staff we were an older version of our middle school population.  There was gossip, there were cliques, there was bullying, there was jealousy, there were petty grievances and wasted energy on small things.   I have no doubt that students were aware of these adult relationships and viewed them as a template for their own behavior. 

The best way to teach character is to show love and kindness.  The environment that has a high regard for individual differences, for forgiveness and acceptance is one that allows everything to flourish.  Think of it in terms of providing rich compost that needs little to protect it during times of stress.  The environment itself is the protection. 

This connected integrated view holds true for every system in the universe.  Our own bodies operate so smoothly that we can forget about them until some failure captures our attention. 

Schools can become the best place to be if the adults insist on nurturing an environment of love of kindness.  It will be apparent to every child that character is not just a buzzword, or an inspirational message, it is a practice built on the right foundation.

Leaving the theatre after watching the movie Slumdog Millionaire I was buoyed with a sense of hopefulness.  It is the story of Jamal an orphan boy forced to fight for survival in the slums of Mumbai India.  He travels the treacherous terrain between doing what’s right and doing what’s easy.   The heart of the story answers the question how does anyone come to know what’s right about life and love.

This journey of coming to know about what’s right is one all of us must travel and like the character of Jamal each one of us must decide what is most important.  The question I must ask is: how are our values determined?

There are powerful emotions and circumstances that will influence where we line up on the character continuum.  Will we use love as our guide or bitterness?  Will we seek to do what’s right over what’s advantageous? 

There is no certainty in answering this question but one thing must not be ignored.  The environment in which we live must reflect respect, love and justice. These principles are like rich compost nourishing our spirit and our values. 

Our children need to see daily examples of character in order for them to develop and embrace it.    Creative World Connections is dedicated to being part of that compost.  Below is a sample of one of our daily messages for your school announcements.  We invite you to share it with your school population and email us if you would like more material to share.   CWC will work with each school and tailor a program to meet your needs.  Subscription can be yearly, monthly or weekly. 

Success Tip/ Doing the Right Thing

In the Harry Potter book series there is a character named Hagrid.  Hagrid is a friendly giant with a soft heart.  He is one of Harry’s teachers who also becomes his friend.

Hagrid tells Harry, “ At some time you must choose between what’s easy and what’s right.”

Hagrid might only be a fictional giant but he understands what’s most important. 

So What’s Easy for you Today?

Not doing your homework is easy.

Spreading gossip is easy.

Watching someone being bullied is easy. 

The hard things in life require commitment.  Working hard, walking away from gossip and standing up to bullies are all hard but they will determine your character.   None of you needs a giant in a storybook to tell you to do the right thing, although it helps.

You all cheer for the hero of a story and hope for the downfall of the villain.  In your own story you can become the hero, so today cheer for yourself when you do what’s right.

And know this – No one can this do hard work but you!

Driving to yoga today I heard two news items that disturbed me.  The first was an interview with the president of a Wall Street investment company. He was commenting on the economic mess and particularly AIG.  He said its human nature to steal, to lie and to conceal.  In other words when no one is watching the rules don’t count.  The other story was about the increase in violent gangs in Mexico.  In the town of Juarez on the border drug gangs have taken over.  The gangs became powerful because the young males of this town had no opportunity so they turned to the testosterone fueled violence and brutality of gangs.  Without gangs these young men had no future.

It’s seems whether it’s Wall Street or the dirty streets of a poor Mexican town the rules don’t count.  Both found opportunity and exploited it.  So I have to wonder can we really be good?  Is it our truest nature to seek the honorable path and stick to it despite difficulties?

 Mahatma Gandhi said, “Nonviolence is not a garment to be put off and on at will. Its seat is in the heart and it must be an inseparable part of our being.”

Only the strongest and most disciplined person can hope to achieve the status of Gandhi’s teachings even so without the teaching there is no hope of walking this noble path.    Gandhi’s wisdom reminds us to recognize how connected we all are in this small tenuous world.  Unconditional love and compassion are stronger than ignorance and prejudice, stronger than even hatred.

In order for our children to discover this truth they must first witness it, they must be in an environment that seeks this way of respect and peace.  There is no peaceful oasis in our modern day world so it must be created.  Every classroom teacher can make a commitment to create this place in his or her classroom.  Every school can adopt a mission statement that seeks this more disciplined way. 

In order for children to learn to deal with anger, jealousy, or other negative emotions they must understand the possibility of a nonviolent spirit.  The first place to get a grip on this is to understand simple anger.  There are five steps to mindful anger management. 

The five R’s:

1. Recognizing – Noticing the familiar stimulus that pushes your hot buttons and triggers the harsh response.  By first noticing it means the ego has not yet seized on it and reacted to it.
2. Recollecting – Remember the downside of anger and also the upside of practicing patience.  The mantra is “this too shall pass.”
3. Refraining and Restraining – Hold back your habitual negative reaction and try to see the situation through another person’s eyes.  The most difficult person or situation can become your greatest teacher, your greatest opportunity.
4. Relinquishing – Give up you conditioned reactivity and let go of these impulsive urges and choose a more intelligent response.  Just accept that anger arises and instead of acting on these urges feel them without acting. 
5. Reconditioning and Responding - Let go of these unhealthy patterns and intentionally chose more desirable kind ways to respond. This is most difficult because sometimes it appears you are too passive doing nothing.  But it means you are responding with equanimity, becoming wiser and more compassionate.

This kind of holistic character education is possible but it requires a dedicated effort in order for it to be effective.   To paraphrase Gandhi when you begin to transform yourself you transform the world.

Every teacher can become this vehicle of transformation. 

Creative World Connection daily messages are one way to help you acquire this habit.  Any school interested in becoming a subscriber may contact me by email (see contact tab) and I will tailor a plan for your school population.  

Last night I woke up in the middle of night anxious from a rambling dream about economic woes.  My dream was a tangled mess of reruns from the news that kept repeating over and over like a broken record. I’m certain in bedrooms across the county other people were struggling with the same dream.

Despite feeling dread in the middle of the night I found a renewed optimism in my morning yoga class.  In yoga I was reminded to seek my equanimous mind, the mind that reacts the same to praise or criticism.   It’s the quality of same mind that restores peace and calm to the body and spirit.

I am grateful to have a practice that guides me through troubled waters but I have to wonder how our children are coping with all this uncertainty.  How can they be hopeful and calm?

Children take their cues from the adults that lead them, if their homes are turbulent and troubled they will carry that vibe and energy into their school day.  As teachers you could be faced with leading a classroom filled with anxiety and worry.   So how can you provide a nurturing environment for your students?

First you must take your own emotional temperature.  Access your state of mind every morning. Take ten minutes every day to find some balance.  Open the shades, turn off the noise and sit alone in your classroom.  Close your eyes and begin to breathe in and out through your nose.  As you do this notice the quality of your breath.  Focus on the narrow space between your nose and mouth.   In and out, as thoughts arise let them drift by like clouds in the sky.  Just observe them and let go.  Think of your breath as a bridge that connects your body to your thoughts.  When your thoughts become too scattered use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.

A short meditation helps you face life’s curve balls and also prepares you to guide your students.  You can use this same practice with your students.  Beginning each class with a short meditation is one simple way to help restore calm to your classroom.  Even though the earth is shifting beneath their feet your students can stay centered.

The practice of yoga is simply observing the breath.   Becoming connected to the breath connects us to the present moment instead of living in the never arriving future. 

None of us can predict the future but given the right tools we can find a path to a more peaceful existence.  And we can teach this to our children helping them pass through negative moods feeling more resilient and positive.

Recite this Metta Meditation with your class every day

May I be Happy and Joyful

May I be Peaceful and At Ease

May I be Free from Harm and Injury

May I be Free from Anger and Worry

May I be Well

Despite all the economic difficulties most of us don’t have to go to sleep wondering if we will eat tomorrow or where we will go to get clean water.  Unfortunately for millions of people living in the developing world that is the case.  Whatever our circumstances are by world standards we have all won the lottery of life.  We can hope to see a more prosperous tomorrow

Charitable giving is an American tradition.  Surveys show that 85% of American families make charitable donations each year.   Giving money to charity is part of living an ethical life.   Peter Singer author of “The Life You Can Save” believes that giving to the right charity could end world poverty.   The reason is it takes much less money to help provide clean water, food, agricultural supplies, and basic medical care in the poorest parts of the world.   In his book he cites some examples of how a little bit of money goes a long way.

One story is about a group of women among the lowest caste group in India who pick through the landfills looking for recyclable materials.  Their problem was finding a reliable market.  One of charities promoted through givemore.net gave them enough funds to organize and secure buyers.  Today this group no longer accepts charitable funds.  The good news about supporting the poorest of the poor is the impact is huge.  Workingwomen in India have fewer and healthier children and have the resources to rely on their own best efforts.  This same scenario is repeated in every dirty and forgotten corner of the globe.  When money gets into the right pipeline it changes things.

Teachers can make a sustaining impact on this endeavor by adopting a yearlong charitable cause for their classroom.  Doing this not only teaches your students about culture, geography, and history it also is the beginning for them to be part of a call to positive action.  It empowers your students to make a difference in the world. 

It takes only a little bit of imagination to make this possible.  Students should be encouraged to give.  Create opportunities to give small change.  Students can pay nickels and dimes for extra perks like watching a movie, or having a pizza party.  Throughout the year much can be collected.  Classrooms can aim for a specific dollar amount.  

Teachers can find information from Peter Singer’s book.  The web provides lots of resources like givewell.net. and kiva.org, both allows you to give small amounts of money to lend to a specific entrepreneur in the developing world. Your students will be able to read first hand accounts of helping a real person make strides towards improving their life.

Help your students learn the value of charitable giving and tap into the possibilities in life.

In the famous words of George Bernard Shaw.

“You see things and you say, why?  But I dream things that never were and I say why not?”

It’s easy in our culture to feel not quite good enough.  For some of us it takes a lifetime to come to terms with the flawed notion of perfection and accepting and loving ourselves.  In the book, “Surviving Marcia Brady.” Maureen Mccormick reveals how the character of Marcia Brady became her alter ego and how far down she fell struggling to accept herself. 

Her story is a modern fable that shows that all the glitters is not gold, despite how much it sparkles.  I was past the age of influence when the Brady Bunch was popular on TV but I remember how much my younger sisters wanted to be just like Marcia.  Popular culture in the early 70’s had not yet wormed its way into the youthful psyche the way it has today so I have to wonder who are the modern day Marcia Brady’s and how much dysfunction are they creating now?

For many children the only template they have for a purposeful life is the one marketed to them through the medium of entertainment. Often promoting a life where popularity and being envied are the standards of success. 

Schools are tapped out right now and to ask them to pick up the slack and restore value where it’s lacking is a heavy proposition.  Despite the difficulties I know schools can influence positive change.   And the steps are simple and free. 

Providing character education and guidance is nothing more than practicing it yourself first.  It doesn’t’ even have to be an institutional practice but it would be more effective if the entire teaching staff embraced it.   

One resource I discovered several years ago was “The Four Agreements” by Dan Miguel Ruiz.  This little book is a gem of practical wisdom that can transform anyone willing to be better.  The four agreements are simple rules to help you honor and respect your own life and everyone you encounter.

The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word.  Speak with integrity say only what you mean.  Avoid using your word to speak against yourself or against someone else.  Never gossip.  Instead use the power of your word in the direction of love and truth.

The second agreement is don’t take anything personally.  Recognize that nothing others do is because of you.  What they do and say is a projection of their own reality, and of their own shortcomings.   When you choose not to be offended you become immune to the opinions and actions of other people.  You cannot become the victim of needless suffering.

The third agreement is don’t make assumptions.  Communicate as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.  With this one agreement you can transform your life because you practice communicating clearly frees you from emotional poison.

And the most important agreement is to always do your best.  When you allow yourself to be human you recognize that everyday is different.  Different mind, different body, different moment and under all these changing circumstances you simply do your best.  This attitude helps you avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

I find the last to be the agreement of forgiveness.  Forgiving yourself is the most critical step to accepting your imperfect yet beautiful self.   Embracing the four agreements is breaking with all your old emotional binds and contracts.  It’s liberating because this practice allows you to be better, to become noble in the truest definition of the word.

I have used the agreements as rules to live by and instructed students in their meaning.  Many students found the simplicity of this creed an easy way to practice respect and  helped them let go of unhealthy judgment and negativity.  

John Lennon sang, “Living is easy with your eyes closed misunderstanding all you see.”

These simple agreements help you live with your eyes open.

Virtue is an old fashioned word that seems out of place in our society today.  You don’t hear much about virtue.  But what’s truly needed to rescue us is a resurgence of the practice of being virtuous. 

Barry Schwartz author of “The Paradox of Choice,” writes about psychologists who interviewed hospital janitors around the country.  They asked them what their job entailed.  The job description of a hospital janitor is a long  list of maintenance and cleaning.  Nowhere in the list is a single word that mentions or involves another human being.  Yet during the interviews psychologists discovered that hospital janitors described situations that demanded they be wise. 

There was Mark who described how he stopped mopping the floor because a patient needed to get out of bed to exercise.  There was Charlene who ignored her supervisors and didn’t vacuum the visitors lounge because some family who had been there for 24 hours were taking a nap.  And then there was Luke who mopped the floor of a comatose young man’s room twice because the man’s father who had been keeping a vigil for six months didn’t see him do it the first time and was angry.

Behavior like this whether it comes from a janitor, nurse or a doctor doesn’t just make people feel better it actually improves the quality of patient care and enables hospitals to run well.  The janitors who behaved this way were interacting with people with kindness, care and empathy.

Aristotle said that practical wisdom is a combination of moral will and moral skill.  This group of janitors was practicing both.  

You don’t need to be brilliant to be wise, but without wisdom brilliance isn’t enough. The camera is always on when you are teaching.  As a teacher you are being observed even when you think you are not.  Unlike the janitor your job description demands the moral will and moral skill to be successful.

A wise person knows when and how to make the exception to every rule.  As the janitors knew when to ignore their duties in the service of another person, having wisdom means you know how to improvise. Real world problems are often ambiguous and ill defined.  The context is always changing.  A wise person knows how to use these moral skills in the pursuit of the right aims.

The context in your classroom is also always changing, student skills and needs shift and challenge what you believed was the norm.   So how can you bring practical wisdom into your day?

The most single important thing you can teach to your students is first to respect themselves, second to respect others and last to respect learning.

Your school community has an obligation to nurture the development of the moral will and moral skill of all its teachers.  It must recognize the even the wisest and most well meaning among you will give up if they have to swim against the current. 

A wise person is made and not born.  Wisdom depends on experience and not just any experience.  You need the time to know the people you are serving.  You need permission to improvise and to try new things and occasionally to fail.  And to learn from these failures.  Most important you need to be mentored by wise teachers.

Teachers must celebrate moral exemplars.  We are inspired by our moral heroes, acknowledge them and celebrate them  and strive to become an everyday moral hero yourself.  The future of education depends on an injection of this type of leadership.  

When Ryne Sandberg was inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame in 2005 he said, “ I was in awe every time I walked onto the field.  That’s respect. A lot of people say this honor validated my career, but I didn’t work hard for validation.   I didn’t play the game right because I saw a reward at the end of the tunnel.  I played it right because that’s what you’re supposed to do, play it right and play it with respect.  If this validates anything, it’s that the guys who taught me did what they were supposed to do.”

Playing by the rules is an institutional practice.  And these practices are passed down and evolve.   “There is a deep reverence for those who came before and built up the rules,” writes political scientist Hugh Heclo in his book “On Thinking Institutionally.” 

Heclo believes we are defined by what life asks of us.  As we go through life we travel through institutions, family, school, and then institutions that become part of our profession.

Your students need a model to learn how and why to play by the rules because right now it seems everyone has broken all the rules.   As educators you have not just an opportunity every day but an obligation to pass on the importance of respect in every aspect of your students life. 

So how can you do this? 

There is nobility and integrity in honoring what is right and especially doing this when challenged.  Classroom teachers are challenged everyday by the disruptions and demands of their students.  It is impossible to plan without planning for the unexpected.  The unexpected is the student who is testing your good humor and your patience.  It is the love and the discipline of the one student that communicates the love for the others. 

Stephen Covey author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” said, “It’s how you treat the one that reveals how you regard the ninety-nine, because ultimately everyone is the one.” 

If students can learn this lesson of the importance of the one they can practice playing by the rules for life.  They can learn to become persons of the highest integrity, calling a penalty on themselves when need be. 

As teachers you don’t need a plan or a special time of day to weave this lesson into the curriculum you can do this simply by practicing and honoring your craft.  You have a relationship to teaching that could almost be described as a covenant.  Your job is to do it right, to play by the rules yourself so your students can follow in your footsteps.

Creative World Connection Series 1 is a collection of daily messages that help you reinforce this lesson with your students.  As a small company CWC is able to adapt our material to the needs of your student population.  Contact us today for more information on how we can help your students learn the importance of playing by the rules. 

Every pediatrician has this conversation over and over with parents about setting limits and consistently praising good behavior.  What these conversations really are about is manners.   Dr. Perry Klass said, “When you are in an exam room with a child who seems to have none, you begin to wonder what is going on at home, at school and questions of family dysfunction problems begin to cross your mind.”

Practicing good manners has a huge impact on people’s lives despite the fact that some people think manners are out of date. Are they?

Having good manners is akin to showing respect.  Respecting yourself as well as others is one ingredient to becoming a successful human being.   Schools are the epicenter of the manners debate.  Students without manners are seen as rude and this contributes to behavior problems. But few schools have the time or resources to teach manners in addition to their academic benchmarks.  So what’s the answer?

Continuity of practice, practice makes perfect and when anything is repeated enough it eventually becomes part of a new habit.   Schools can teach students good manners first by practicing good manners.  Manners are our public behavior and the first lesson is that there are other people whose feelings must be considered.  Learning this affects a child’s most basic moral development.

Schools can teach manners 101 every day by:

• Address a manners issue every morning as part of their daily messages
• Simple examples are reminders to students to use polite language, practice right of way when walking (road rules for your hallways), and examples of kindness

• Classroom teachers should display manners rules in the classroom and begin the day with reminders to practice. Teachers also demonstrate good manners when they maintain composure under pressure.

• Reward and recognize students who practice good manners. 

• Help students learn good table manners by periodically eating lunch with your students.  Give helpful reminders to students about how to eat properly.

Students who are loud, demanding and insistent show that no one has taken the time to teach them manners; their basic needs are not being met.  Remember children by definition are selfish.  It’s a parent’s job to teach them there are other people in the world and other people have feelings.  Unfortunately when parents fail schools are left to pick up the slack and civilize the behavior of children. 

Creative World Connection is dedicated to helping schools provide comprehensive character education for their students.  Any school that is seeking a dedicated program that is consistent, timely and successful can contact us to purchase material tailored to their school’s needs.   The advantage of being a CWC subscriber is that we are flexible in content and pricing.  Contact us today and mention this blog entry for special pricing on Series 1 and also on custom programs. 

The New Year presents the perfect opportunity to teach your students how to begin to live a principled life by writing a mission statement for themselves.  Today’s teenagers are the ultimate consumers and already too familiar with the slogans and mission statements of companies eager for their spending dollars.  You can introduce them to another kind of mission statement one that can be a blueprint for their future. 

To help students begin to deeply reflect on the purpose of their lives divide them into small groups, each group will receive the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle.  Do not give them a picture of the completed puzzle.  (Perhaps you can solicit your co-workers for enough puzzles to go around).  Students will quickly discover how difficult it is to put the puzzle together without a picture or a blueprint.  Use the blueprint as a metaphor for their mission statement.  In the same way you can’t complete a puzzle, or build a house without a blueprint you don’t build your life without a plan.  If you want to be successful, have joy in life, and experience meaningful relationships you’d better have a plan.  The mission statement is their plan.

Students can begin brainstorming by using these questions to dig deeper.

·       What do I want to have?

·       What do I see myself doing? (In my school life, in my personal life and as a contribution to others)

·       Who has served me as a role model and has influenced me in a positive way?

·       What qualities does this person have that I would like to possess?

·       What qualities of character do I admire most in others?

·       Think of something that represents you (something in nature, music, poetry ect.)  … Why does it represent you?

Do not give your students too much time to think about these questions, the purpose is to freely associate and record their first responses.   Remind them hidden in their responses are challenges that can be incorporated into their statements about who they are and what they will stand for. 

Explain to your students this first draft represents a new script for their life.  This script is based on personal leadership because they are now acting on principles not opinion, not peer influences, and not emotions.  You could call this statement their personal constitution, or Bill of Rights.  Their statements like the constitution must be based on correct principles.  It empowers them to respond to problems and obstacles in life with strength and resolve. Students can begin to discover that they can live with change and even uncertainty if there is a changeless core inside.  

It might help your students if you can share some of your own core values and use these as the foundation for your classroom Bill of Rights.   Practice what you teach and help your students discover  the  real excellence of living a principled life.