The Best Discipline Strategy

What is guilt? 

In clinical terms it’s a rapid response system that helps control negative impulses by producing an incredibly unpleasant sensation.

Psychologists say that children typically begin to feel guilt in their second year of life.  Some children possess a temperament that makes them more prone to guilt and others less prone both due to parents and other early influences.

Understanding guilt is important because this response creates tension and negative emotions when children are tempted to misbehave or even to anticipate breaking the rules.  Children who have a healthy guilt response have fewer behavioral problems. 

Self-control is critical to academic success.  Children without self-control have a poor guilt response and risk losing the understanding and patience of their teachers. Most discipline referrals are a result of teachers needing a break from the impulsive interruptions of these students.

Every year I dealt with the same persistent and chronic group of students who most likely would have scored low on the guilt response meter. They were consistently told by administrators and teachers alike that their behavior was bad, and in some cases that they were bad.  I witnessed some discipline lectures that teetered on the precipice of shame.  Hoping to shame a child into better behavior is a destructive tactic because shame  produces feelings of worthlessness. 

Effective classroom management focuses on admonishing the sin and not the sinner.  But is it enough?  From a child’s perspective there is little distinction between, “you did a bad thing, and you are bad.”  The word “bad” is prominent in both.

There is a better approach.  Psychologists recommend using the atonement strategy.  Learning how to make amends is making things right.  Making amends should be the focus of all discipline because it repairs the damage.   When children get the opportunity to repair the damage it restores feelings of self-worth and competence.  The risk of creating shame is eliminated. 

Allowing students to make amends builds trusting relationships and also creates a quality environment.  The most effective classroom management is one that is addresses problems without too much interruption to the learning process. 

One way to do this is to make a reflection corner in the classroom.  Here students are removed for a short time to devise their own plan of improvement.  Students will be asked why their behavior is a problem and what they can do to improve it.   Making amends might be as simple as cleaning up a mess or sharing materials.   

Teachers should be careful not to depend on  discipline interventions by administrators to solve their problems.  Making amends allows students to participate in nurturing a classroom environment that is satisfying and effective for everyone.