Letting Go Of Resistance

Be afraid of everything? 

When my husband and I were young and inexperienced parents we tried to childproof the world.  Like generations of parents before we hoped warnings would protect our children from harm. 

I remember one incident when our son was going on a field trip to the zoo with his class.  The night before my husband gave our son the “be careful” pep talk.  He said to stay with the group and to avoid looking at the sun.  There was going to be a lunar eclipse the next day and my husband decided it was better for our son to be warned and afraid than to experience the unlikely side effect of going blind.

Our good intentions only served to create a world where danger lurked everywhere.  Fortunately our children were bold hearted explorers when it came to the unknown.  The lessons learned were not for them but for us. 

We can’t live in fear.  Fear keeps us from stepping outside of our comfort zone and expanding our perspective.  Fear serves as a powerful element that creates resistance.

I wonder just how much of the rhetoric I’m hearing right now about everything from health care reform to charter schools is based in fear?  Is it fear or simply a stubborn opposition to change?

Resistance is the enemy of change.  Everything changes.  Yet we live as if this were not true exerting force to control and influence outcomes.   The fact is change is an important element for growth.  When we resist the inevitable we only create fear and anxiety.  

To overcome resistance and fear we must:

• Maintain a clear focus.  Clear focus is like a beacon in the fog.  Even when everything is covered in a deep mist, the beacon keeps you on course.
• Know our intentions.  Fear limits our ability to see the big picture. 

It’s easy to resort to our default positions when confronted with the unknown but doing so creates more fear and more resistance.  When we face resistance most of us react with an assortment of ineffective approaches:  We - use power, manipulate opposition, apply the force of reason, play off relationships and make deals. 

Like over protective parents we all can learn to relax and let go by:

• Understanding the voice of resistance
• Respecting the reasons for resistance. Listening and being  honest about our intentions.
• Staying calm and engaged.  Not allowing fear to set the course.
• Changing the game.  Ask what matter’s most.

When I look back on my years as a worried parent I can see the tipping point, the time when I embraced a different approach. 

Ask yourself: Is it time to find that tipping point?

Postscript:

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