Young And Stupid - Teens Behaving Badly

The story of the 13-year-old British boy who fathered a child sparked outrage in newspapers and on the Internet.   Many in the British government are in despair.  They feel that the country’s youth have lost their way, not knowing the difference between right and wrong.    Currently Britain has the highest teen pregnancy rate in Western Europe and a binge drinking culture that leaves teens splayed out in the streets. 

But they are not alone.  Today one in four American teenage girls has a sexually transmitted disease.  And for the first time in fifteen years the Center for Disease Control reported that the rate of teen pregnancy has significantly increased. 

What happened?

Teens have always taken risks and behaved impulsively.  Scientists know that during adolescents the larger brain is developing.  Teens need time to learn about complex social behavior and often fail to see the consequences of their actions.  Sudden increases in nerve connectivity in the brain make it harder to read social situations and other people’s emotions.

 These explanations might help us adults accept some of the out of balance behavior and mistakes but they don’t give us the answers on how to better guide and teach our youth.

I think it’s important to not just look at the behavior the symptoms so to speak but also the cause.  Why the attachment and attraction to seeking out so much risky short term pleasures?  It seems we have not given our children a foundation of self-worth, we have not taught them to love themselves first.    

So how do children learn to love and respect themselves, to honor their bodies and enrich their minds?

I believe the answer is three fold.  First in order for children to love themselves they must first be loved.  Every decent society should build a support system for mothers and children.  No child should be deprived of the nurturing they deserve.   Second we must bring awareness to the taboo subjects in school.   Currently there is no dedicated funding in the US for a comprehensive sex education program.  And third we cannot abdicate responsibility.  Despite having adult bodies teens still have undeveloped emotions and decision-making skills, they need adequate supervision.  Parents and schools must ask: is it age appropriate and is it safe when planning activities for teens. There is strength in numbers. Parents can be their own support group by collectively deciding what’s appropriate and safe for their children.   For too long parents have taken the easier road for giving in, of not fighting the battle and succumbing to the demands of their children.

Schools can help by giving parents information on skills and providing the forum to bring them together.  We cannot afford to shift blame, to claim sensitivity, or to lecture on whose responsibility it is.  The task is for all of us to demand better.   And we demand with our actions.  Adults are the templates that our youth will follow.  Stand up and take the leadership role and others will be grateful they have someone to follow.