Charles Darwin suffered from depression.  He wrote that his depression left him unable to do anything one out of three days.  Doing these episodes of depression, which he referred to as a weakness of the mind, he allowed this affliction to be a time to ruminate, to reflect or, as many would describe today to meditate.  What Darwin discovered is that the pathway to wisdom is through this rumination.  If depression didn’t exist if we didn’t react to stress and trauma with endless ruminations then we would be less likely to solve our problems.

This process of rumination is very deliberate, slow and tiresome and not likely to attract a lot of attention simply because it is difficult and sometimes even painful.  But paying attention to a difficult dilemma creates the best opportunity to escape it and learn from it.

Reading about Darwin made me think about so many of our current problems.  Almost every state in the country is struggling with weighty issues concerning the financing of schools.   News of failure to achieve standard benchmarks and comparisons made to other countries makes these fiscal problems even worse.  I have to wonder if there is a way out of this mess. 

If you look at Darwin and his contribution to science it’s apparent that he saw his depression as a sort of tonic, a way to find the path to resolution.  Some scientists compare depression with a fever.  Fever has its benefits because it’s the body’s mechanism to fight off infection.  Perhaps depression is a similar mechanism to fight off sadness and to move us out of our ruts. 

I think we are in a collective rut and judging from the news instead of reflecting on how we got into this mess we are blaming and criticizing.   This challenge could be an opportunity to discover all those weak areas.  It could be that through a very deliberate and slow rumination solutions will be discovered. 

Just like everything else Creative World Connections is ruminating.  It’s time to change.  In time for the 2010-2011 school year we will be offering a new product, a handbook/ workbook for teachers.  Responsible Decision Making will make its debut in August.  In addition to the hard copy all new subscribers will become members of our online community.  We can ruminate together in sharing dilemmas and in solving problems.   I look forward to the change and the challenge and welcome you to be partners with me.

Schools are finding that something as simple as the timing of recess makes a difference in health and behavior of their students.   Rescheduling recess to play outside before they sit down to eat lunch has resulted in less food waste with higher consumptions of milk, fruit and vegetables and fewer behavior problems.

Children are calmer during lunch when they’ve had time to play first.  They slow down eating because they’re not trying to rush outside.  Nine years ago a school nurse in Scottsdale Arizona suggested the switch.  The school conducted a pilot study and discovered multiple benefits one being that when students returned to the classroom they were calmer.  Lunch served as a cool down time.  Since that pilot program 18 of the districts schools have adopted recess before lunch.  With many other schools across the country now doing the same.

Despite this common sense approach promoting healthier children many schools resist simple changes because doing so always creates logistical problems. Difficulties like children returning to hallways and classrooms to return coats and get lunches becomes excuses.   Many schools stay stuck in the status quo.  Even simple scheduling changes like recess and lunch can quickly become hot issues with staff. 

The word simple change is a contradiction because change is always an adjustment.  And depending on the personality or the resistance it can fall anywhere on the continuum from difficult to intolerable.

So how do any of us switch gears and accept change? 

To be successful in life we must be willing to evaluate ourselves and work to improve. That means dedicating time to align our work with our goals and our purpose. 

For schools this must be a constant.  Every school administrator and every teacher should accept that there are no sacred cows and approach new ideas with the mantra “we can make it work” instead of excuses.

Mediation teachers like to use two animal metaphors for the mind, doggy mind and monkey mind.  Doggy mind is like the dog running after every bone, every impulse, every desire and every aversion.  Any thought can occasion the chase.  Monkey mind swings from tree to tree from thought to thought.  It is active restless and wild.  Whether it is doggy mind or monkey mind this restless activity of thought keeps your from being in the present moment.  Children are unskilled and undisciplined in the arena of self-control.  Their impulses lead them not only into the doggy chase or the monkey climb but also into inattention and distraction.  A growing body of research indicates that many children start school not ready to learn because they lack the critical ability of self-control.  Self-control has a stronger association with academic achievement than either IQ or reading readiness.  The encouraging news is the elements of self-control can be taught.  Tools of the Mind  is a  program that promotes intentional and self  regulated learning.  In Tools:

• Teachers use scaffolding to structure activities.  Children have learning plans and play plans.  Their activity is more more interactive and sustainable.
• The notion of being able to sustain one’s own interest is the core building block.  Children are less distracted because they are so consumed in the activities they have chosen.
• Development of the internal voice or thought conversation helps children avoid distraction.

The exciting results of this program are children who are not merely behaved but self-organized and self-directed.  Tools teachers in New Mexico reported fewer classroom incidents and less need for discipline.  And while these techniques might sound fuzzy and theoretical the program has support in neuroscience.  The development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls impulses begins in early childhood.  This high level executive function can be developed and strengthened using the Tools techniques.  When I first read about Tools I was struck by how similar this teaching was to the practice of mediation.  The goal is not to eradicate thinking but to observe what is going on in the mind.  Neuroscience is finding amazing implications for learning.  Any school looking for methods to promote self-control and intrinsic motivation needs to look to the research.  It’s there for those willing to take a risk and look outside of the box  for new applications to promote learning.

By definition children are developmentally a moving target making interventions that target behavior a challenge. In schools children are subjected to a vast number of well-meaning programs that sound absolutely great on paper but fail the test of scientific analysis.

In the book “Nurture Shock” Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman explore the constellation of factors that shape children.  They found that schools hurriedly adopt programs to combat scary issues like drug abuse.   Taking their responsibility seriously to breed good citizens and not just good students schools mistake good intentions for good ideas.

The data on character based interventions shows that at best they have a size effect of 15%.  This means that 15% of children altered their targeted behavior while a whopping 85% did not.  Interventions with a size effect of only 4% can still be considered quite good even though they have no effect on 96% of the students.

 The question is; how can a school implement any character education program and expect a sizable effect?

Research shows that high order thinking like self-reflection encourages children to listen to the inner voice and not act impulsively.   The only way children discover this inner voice is to be consistently asked to evaluate their own behavior.   They must be given the right tools to develop this awareness.

Creative World Connections is just one tool in this toolbox of child development.   Our daily messages give not just encouragement to children but serve as reminders to teachers the role that cognitive control plays in learning and decision-making.

Cognitive control is necessary in many contexts.  It’s necessary to avoid external distractions and more importantly internal distractions like the thought, “I can’t do this.”

To find success schools must be willing to step out of their institutional comfort zone and step out of the box.  The science on all of this is exciting and empowering and will ultimately enrich any school willing to embrace change.

What is social contagion?

Harvard researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that the happiest people are exposed every day to many small moments of contagious happiness. When you see other people smile at home, in the street, in a local restaurant your spirits are affected.   Happiness is more contagious than unhappiness.  Our behaviors are spread socially and the most surprising finding of this research is that it’s not the small cluster of long term friends that is crucial to being happy it’s the number of positive connections a person has every day. 

What this means is that each one of us has a remarkable ability to spread happiness. 

So how can you and I embrace social contagion and make a dedicated effort to help create these positive waves?

We have to accept life’s givens.  We have to consent to the things we cannot change. 

David Richo in “The Five Things We Cannot Change” writes the five unavoidable givens are

• Everything changes and ends
• Things do not always go according to plan
• Life is not always fair
• Pain is part of life
• People are not loving and loyal all the time

As a psychotherapist he found that when we acknowledge and accept these we can find peace and sustaining happiness.  Sometimes these givens can seem like the universe is playing a cruel joke on us.  When we accept them we are really saying yes to our humanity. The givens can become gifts. 

Last night the Detroit Tigers honored Ernie Harwell at Comerica Park.  For years the legendary broadcaster was the voice of the Detroit Tigers.  Yesterday he was honored in a bittersweet and emotional tribute.  Harwell at the age of 91 has an inoperable cancer.  He has always lived in the present moment and never became an old grump talking about how great the world used to be.

I have to believe that many fans left Comerica Park last night with smiles on their faces and not because the Tigers won but because they got to share in this man’s last public tribute.  They were all connected to the big wave of love and abundance that is his life. 

Everything ends; everything changes except our ability and willingness to spread happiness.  We can do it even in the face of this finality.  Ernie Harwell knows this and for that he will be remembered and honored. 

Today is the first day of school for millions of American children.  President Obama is going to deliver a speech encouraging children to take responsibility for their learning and dream big.   Amazingly some in America are suspicious of his motives, some fearful of the content of his speech and some see sinister political messages directed at the most vulnerable audience – our children!

Pardon me but we have sunk too low.  Perhaps we truly deserve the struggling systems that we have created.  Maybe we’re incapable of working together for the common good. 

In 1909 Frederick Cook and Robert Peary both claimed to have reached the North Pole. Neither offered any proof.  For years these claims were undisputed.  Despite this their respective supporters backed them, each side defending their position.  Today we know both claims were false.

Psychologists know that when the facts get in the way of our beliefs our brains are marvelously adept at dispensing with the facts.  We simply use this logic to get around the truth.

So what’s the truth here? 

We have a President who hopes to inspire and encourage children to value learning.  We have a political system that seeks to undermine even this small noble effort to make a difference.  We have a population so attached to their beliefs that the simplest action merits scrutiny and debate.

How can we collectively overcome our tendency to dispense with the facts whenever it’s convenient? 

We must all get over the need to be right.  Being right will not solve our problems, being right will not connect us to the common good, being right will only divide us.

Today I prefer to dream big and believe in the possibilities.  Without dreams nothing is possible.  

Years ago the Detroit Free Press had a popular columnist named Bob Talbert, he was known for his column titled, “Outta of my  Monday moaning mind. “  It was a collection of random thoughts some connected and some disconnected.  With the utmost respect to Bob Talbert, here’s my version.

• Researchers at Stanford University recently published a study that found persistent multitaskers perform badly.  Surprising?  It seems trying to do a lot at the same time is ultimately a waste of time.  Multitaskers are in a constant state of stress with a frenzied pace of ever changing information.  This got me to thinking about the implications for teaching.  Too many layers of directions and instruction are a lesson plan for low achievement.  Morale – keep it simple. 

• Federal Race to the Top grants are inspiring school districts to re-think their education plans.  Some of the more innovative ideas include an Oxford Michigan district offering foreign language and string instruments to all kindergarteners.  Another district is eliminating English and social studies in favor of classes that focus on in-depth projects for lower achieving students. Some educators are willing to let go of long held beliefs to help students learn in a different way.  Sounds hopeful and inspiring to me. 

• Prominent child rearing experts observe that siblings who play together have healthier relationships because play allows them to work out grievances and competition.  Too much parent intervention often looks like favoritism to children and sometimes creates life long jealously and fractured adult relationships.  The ties that bind need not be too tight.  Be a model of kindness and respect and your children can take that into their play relationships.

• Middle and High School literature teachers are letting students choose their own books to help build a life-long love of reading.  “The Reading Zone” by Nancie Atwell promotes achievement through choice.  This book that has sold half a million copies is gaining popularity with many teachers all over the country.  Many lit teachers report gains in student achievement and higher performance on standardized tests. More evidence of how letting go of sacred cows allows for growth and success. 

• One last thought: All of these show the amazing potential to create a better system when the shareholders allow change to happen.  In order to change anything you must be willing to let go of something forever.  It’s time to let go.

What is guilt? 

In clinical terms it’s a rapid response system that helps control negative impulses by producing an incredibly unpleasant sensation.

Psychologists say that children typically begin to feel guilt in their second year of life.  Some children possess a temperament that makes them more prone to guilt and others less prone both due to parents and other early influences.

Understanding guilt is important because this response creates tension and negative emotions when children are tempted to misbehave or even to anticipate breaking the rules.  Children who have a healthy guilt response have fewer behavioral problems. 

Self-control is critical to academic success.  Children without self-control have a poor guilt response and risk losing the understanding and patience of their teachers. Most discipline referrals are a result of teachers needing a break from the impulsive interruptions of these students.

Every year I dealt with the same persistent and chronic group of students who most likely would have scored low on the guilt response meter. They were consistently told by administrators and teachers alike that their behavior was bad, and in some cases that they were bad.  I witnessed some discipline lectures that teetered on the precipice of shame.  Hoping to shame a child into better behavior is a destructive tactic because shame  produces feelings of worthlessness. 

Effective classroom management focuses on admonishing the sin and not the sinner.  But is it enough?  From a child’s perspective there is little distinction between, “you did a bad thing, and you are bad.”  The word “bad” is prominent in both.

There is a better approach.  Psychologists recommend using the atonement strategy.  Learning how to make amends is making things right.  Making amends should be the focus of all discipline because it repairs the damage.   When children get the opportunity to repair the damage it restores feelings of self-worth and competence.  The risk of creating shame is eliminated. 

Allowing students to make amends builds trusting relationships and also creates a quality environment.  The most effective classroom management is one that is addresses problems without too much interruption to the learning process. 

One way to do this is to make a reflection corner in the classroom.  Here students are removed for a short time to devise their own plan of improvement.  Students will be asked why their behavior is a problem and what they can do to improve it.   Making amends might be as simple as cleaning up a mess or sharing materials.   

Teachers should be careful not to depend on  discipline interventions by administrators to solve their problems.  Making amends allows students to participate in nurturing a classroom environment that is satisfying and effective for everyone. 

“Universal responsibility is feeling for other people’s suffering just as we feel for our own.  It is the realization that even our enemy is entirely motivated by the quest for happiness.  We must recognize that all human beings want the same thing that we want.”

The XIV Dalai Lama

We all want to be understood.  When I think about all the times in which I felt inadequate or inferior I realize they were a direct result of not being heard. 

When we are heard, we feel connected and being connected allows us to be understood.   Communication is a skill that must be learned.

Often we think of communication especially in times of high emotions as venting.  Venting is just getting your feelings out.  There’s a low probability that the cause of these feelings is understood.   Many people continue to believe that venting is healthy, that anger is a catharsis of negative emotions.

Carol Tavris author of “The Misunderstood Emotion” disagrees she says, “Expressing anger makes your angrier, solidifies an angry attitude and establishes a hostile habit.”

There’s a better way of communicating.  Instead of going into an attack mode we can practice the clear expression of our feelings, even our negative feelings.  Our feelings can connect us.  Here’s why:

• Compare this:  I think you’re wrong VS I feel angry.
• The fist statement demands a defensive response.  The second is different; the response seeks to understand why I am angry. 
• Expressing feelings makes us vulnerable because exposing our soft spots allows communication and the relationship to expand.

Is it especially important to teach children to express their feelings.  Feelings are:

I am happy, I am confused, I am sad, I want

Thoughts or judgments sound like this: 

You’re wrong, You make me mad, You’re not listening, You’re a jerk

Communicating feelings is not a guarantee that all conflicts will be resolved rather it’s the beginning of looking at the real issues, instead of blaming or being angry.  Communicating feelings requires the listener to be empathic and compassionate.  Both of these demand listening and giving the right attention.  It does not mean agreement or feeling sorry. It does mean to acknowledge the other person’s feelings without trying to insert advise or manipulate the situation to personal advantage.

Practicing this every day not only improves communication but also makes us more connected.   I can’t think of a more effective teaching strategy than improving communication and being connected.  

“Our thoughts, our words, and our deeds are the threads of the net which we throw around ourselves.”

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind.  When we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success. 

Several years ago I had a student who so persistent in his misbehaviors that I began to picture him as a little red haired devil.  I dreaded every encounter with him.  His response to me became more and more hostile.   I needed to do something different.  What I did was to change the way I looked at him. 

The improvement was slow, but little by little he began to respond to me with more respect and attentiveness.  By the year’s end I saw him as a success instead of a failure. 

Some spiritual traditions believe in the law of karma.  Karma is just a new age word meaning cause and effect.  It is our actions and the consequences.  We’ve all heard the expression “what you sow is what you reap.”  Karma, what we reap is the action of our conscious choice making. 

With my little red haired devil I choose to be critical and judgmental.  I did not offer this student a life lesson; I choose to suffer his undesirable behavior instead.   But in truth I was the one who suffered until I chose to change.

We are infinite choice makers.  Some of our choices are automatic like conditioned reflexes.  When a person or circumstance is offensive we choose to be offended, we choose to be uncomfortable and unhappy.  The same is true for the opposite.  We are making these choices unconsciously. 

There is a better way.  We can step back and witness our choices as we make them.  We can take this process from an unconscious realm to a conscious one and become empowered. 

To apply the law of cause and effect to your life you can:

1. Ask: What are the consequences of this choice? And will this choice bring happiness and fulfillment to me and to those affected by me?
2. Pay attention to your body’s physical response to the choice.  You will observe a difference in your responses to unkind choices compared to kinder ones.

We know the correct choice, it is known in our heart.  It’s a mistake to discredit this intuitive response.  Everything that has happened to us at this moment is a result of the choices we’ve made in the past.   We can create a kindness footprint.  It’s what we leave behind, it’s how we’ll be remembered and it’s how we create lasting positive change.